49 Days of Summer
This summer, we tried something new. Instead of leaning on our idea of what a summer should like for our kids (which can get quite extravagant), we asked our kids what they were looking forward to for their summer. To our surprise, their answers were much more simple and “down to earth”. My oldest daughter had one craft project in mind (that I didn’t have to purchase anything new to do), a personal reading goal, a desire for one trip to our local ice creamery, a general idea to do a lot of baking, and then one day trip idea. Our boys also had simple, easily achievable goals for Saturday night family game nights, more board and Nintendo games in general, time at the pool, and family trips to the gym.
I’m so glad that I didn’t tear my hair out creating some magical summer that stressed us out, which in turn would completely thwart the true desires of my children’s hearts for fun and games. After all, what their dream summers required was margin- that six letter word that I’ve been fighting to create in our life for the past three years. Like the task of keeping a garage organized, for example, I have found that margin ebbs and flows. I find myself, time and time again, having cluttered up our days with my own (often overly ambitious/caffeinated) agenda, needing to come back and cross many of my plans off the list in order to have the margin to enjoy serendipity and togetherness and peace.
Today we sit with 49 days left until labor day. This is an excellent time to reassess and maybe even declutter and reset your summer plans. Cross things off the list: take some moments to sit down with your life-companions (kids, spouse, friends, partners) and pare down to what is important and most desired.
For me, summer means time for “myself” goes out the window. Elaborate meals go out the window. Time for shopping and contemplating life’s choices goes out the window. Auto-pilot often kicks in. Our weekly family movie nights are often replaced by social time with friends and family outside the home instead. According to Dr. Liz Carter, Naturopath, Acupuncturist, and teacher of 5 elements of Chinese Medicine, summer is naturally and energetically a “light, fun, and beautiful time of year. A wonderful contrast to the deep introspection of winter, intense rush of spring, abundance and stable late summer, and decreasing breakdown of fall. It’s wonderful to fall into its easy rhythm and just hang back from life a bit, basking in the fruits of the labor of other seasons.”
For those of us with children, the math is very revealing and helpful when it comes to the decisions (decisions are often difficult to make in the summer as we have less private time to consider and be intentional) about how to steward time. Summer is, point blank, when a lot of us have the most opportunity to spend with our school-aged children. Several studies have been published pointing out that 90%-95% of the time we will ever spend with our children in this life is spent with them by the time they are 18. Further, 75% of that is, according to studies, spent with them by the time they are 12 years old.
This is not meant to be guilt provoking (though it inevitably will be), but I challenge you, rather, to take this as a note of inspiration. It is never too late to start anew, and I whole-hearedly believe that! Children are so forgiving! After all, if we wish to be wise people, we must accept that being wise means being to constantly reflect and be willing to see and admit an area of your life that needs improvement, and then be able to learn from it and let it go. This is the way of maturity, and the secret to a life well-lived. We must let go of pride that wishes to constantly be right, and be willing to hold loosely our ideas and ways, and be willing to turn on a dime if we’ve been wrong with lightness that doesn’t take one’s self too seriously. What better legacy and example, after all, could we give to our children as a path to true success?
So, with these last 49 days of “summer”, what will you choose to do? Will you be the sole dictator that decides what is important, or will you listen to your troops and together build a summer fun that meets everyone’s desires and needs?
by Terrence Hebel, editor
So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
